Pants with Perspective

Written by Megan Flynn and Jenni Schweitzer

This week at The Longwood Look we are seeking to help your love life with fashion sense—because there’s nothing worse than going out on a date with a guy that you barely know and halfway through think, “I know you. I’ve dated you before.” We can save you some time and definitely some heartbreak. We’ve been on enough dates, and we are 98% sure that you can know important things about a guy before you ever even speak to him. As strange as it may seem, you need to start looking at pants. And judging the men who wear them.

This isn’t very scientific. But you can’t say we didn’t warn you.

1)Khaki: Men who wear Dockers or J.Crew pants constantly aren’t actually men at all, at least emotionally—they’re either little boys or they’re elderly—and sometimes, they’re both. Don’t get us wrong, khaki is great sometimes, it’s clean and tidy and all those boring things. When your closet is full of it, though, there’s a problem. Grow up or live a little. There are other things out there. Our advice: Keep looking.

2)Skinny Jeans: Like Khaki Men, Girl Pant Boys hang out on two opposite extremes—either very confident and fun or totally insecure and obsessed with being trendy. We mostly hang out with the confident and fun variety, and a lot of our cool guy friends that dress well all rock skinny jeans. (For a funny take on skinny jeans by someone who knows, check out the post below) Our advice: Proceed, with caution.

3)Distressed/Bleached/Deliberately Damaged Denim: Oh boy. Here’s a question—why would you pay money (sometimes extra) for a pair of pants that some poor kid in a third-world country had to spend extra hours ripping up for your aesthetic delight? These men cannot be trusted. We feel, quite strongly, that if someone has a choice between lovely intact jeans and ones with gaping holes and frayed seams and chooses the latter, they’re probably not going to be able to appreciate a good thing when they see it. Our advice: Steer clear.

4)Worn-in Jeans: A silhouette labeled “worn-in” is not only kind-of gross, it’s also questionable. Someone who wants pre-worn pants? Seriously? Well, whatever the reason, we’ve discovered that Worn-in Guys aren’t so bad. Clearly, they may not welcome change or adventure, and they probably enjoy cheeseburgers. They might really love dogs. We’re pretty sure you know Worn-in Guys. The problem with them is that they really tend to be against change. These are men who live by the “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” mentality. Make sure you give them plenty of notice if you’re going to leave them. Our advice: Give him a try.

5)Boot-Cut Jeans: Now we’re talking about men who wear normal old jeans. Uncomplicated, drama-free jeans. Just like them. We may write a fashion column, but we know the value of a guy who wakes up in the morning and knows that there are more important things than the pants he’s wearing. We’re not saying these guys don’t care—they just happen to prefer jeans that always look good without being fussy. Medium to dark wash, boot-cut jeans work with all kinds of shirts and make the whole world a little simpler. Our advice: Find one for yourself.


Like jean shopping, dating takes a few tries, and things can always change. But as always, the most important thing is finding something that fits your life and makes you happy enough to forget the rest of them.

Spiderman, hipsters and pants, oh my!

Before constructing this week's Look (Pants with Perspective) we asked one of our highly fashionable friends to write a creative piece on the stereotypes certain pants convey. As an example, we cited the notorious 'hipster skinny-jean'. He complied. Enjoy.

-If you didn’t already know, the skin-tight jeans worn by male hipsters such are the brain-eating symbiotes that plagued the superheroes of Marvel Comics.

Spiderman became host to the first and most famous symbiote -- Venom -- in Secret Wars #8. While looking for a fix to his battle-damaged costume, Spiderman accidentally discovered in a prison module what appeared, at first, to be a stronger replacement -- with impressive new features such as a never-ending supply of web and morphing capabilities. The average person might have a few concerns about an oily black goo that so eagerly spreads itself over your body. Not Spidey, though.

I encounter my symbiote at Tractor Supply Company, in Farmville. I needed a replacement for my old pair of wide-legged jeans -- 32-30 -- that had been washed so many times over the years they were now more white than blue. I was in a hurry, though. A despairing friend needed a shoulder on which to bawl. I simply wanted to buy a new pair jean of the same style as my old ones before the store closed for the night. In my rush, I didn't notice, however, that the pair of jeans I had bought were not wide-legged, but Cowboy Cut.

When I tried them on a few hours later, they were so tight it hurt to sit. The button above the zipper jammed against my stomach hard enough to leave a mark.

However! I looked absolutely fabulous in them. As my friend sobbed on the couch in the living room, I couldn’t stop standing up and admiring my better half in the window’s reflection. “Who is the fairest one of all?” I cooed under my breath.

Now, Spider Man’s relationship with his symbiote quickly lost its charm. The alien costume liked to control Spidey’s actions while he slept. It’s long-term goal was full control of the brain. The ensuing struggle between Spidey and Vemon bears all the mental and physical hallmarks of an abusive relationship. There was fighting, crying, pain, and a huge power struggle. Words were said. A number of times the symbiote threated to eat Spidey’s spleen. Their relationship was eventually terminated in a chiming bell tower.

The Cowboy Cuts and I have not yet reached the point of conflict. However, I can certainly see how they have made me different person. Pants of this tightness alter blood flow, which slowly decreases the amount of oxygen the brain receives. I now understand the detached ironic mood of hipsters much better than before. I’ve observed what happens to hipster gentlemen who wear tight jeans for an extended period of time. The brain damage manifests itself in many ugly ways, from their taste in music (indie), their taste in shirts (twee), and their consumption of beer (PBR).

I do not look forward to joining the dour ranks of these people. Who would? But I have a choice: being faithful to all the things in which I believe, or looking damn sexy. I choose the latter, and I do so with a stiff upper lip for the horrors that it will wreak upon my life. I am reminded of a request Venom once made of Spider Man. “Come closer,” he said, “so we can suck your lungs out through your cerebral cortex.”

Tune in soon for Megan and Jenni's personal pant peeves.

Style Polls II: Boys, Boys, Boys

As promised weeks ago, we’re finally incorporating men’s fashion into our column. We’ve gotten results from our men’s survey and are ready to share them along with our own opinions about several of GQ’s fall trends.

•Trench Coats: 66 percent of the 21 respondents were against this cool weather cover-up. We disagree. It’s possible that there was some confusion about what constitutes a “trench coat.” We’re pretty sure GQ didn’t mean floor-length black coats with chains and huge buckles. We favor shorter ones in lighter colors, like grey or khaki. Think James Dean, not Dracula.


•Patterned Sweaters: 52 percent of you guys don’t like these either. Once again, we’re thinking modern instead of hokey—as heartwarming and nostalgic as they may be, we aren’t talking about the reindeer patterned sweater your aunt knitted last Christmas. We like stripes or non-pastel argyle. Now who looks like a big boy?

•The Double-Breasted Suit: 52 percent weren’t fans of this look, either. You guys are hard to please! But honestly, we’re skeptical of this kind of suit as well. It’s a wide-cut suit, so it can be hard to wear. Honestly though, we don’t know that much about suits. Don’t tell anyone.

•Henley Tees: 61 percent don’t wear them. What?! We’re pretty sure these look nice on every guy. What if girls stopped wearing tank tops or perfume? There would be riots in the streets. Henleys are laid back, but still put together. Sexy. Start wearing them.


•Fatigue Jackets: 66 percent aren’t enthusiastic about them. We feel that the only reason you should be wearing something as militaristic as a fatigue jacket is if you’re actually in the military. And if you are, thank you.

•Plaid Dress Shirts: 71 percent of you like them. Finally—something we both like. They are like an Oxford on the weekend; the ideal business-casual. Maybe more casual than business, and that nerdy sort of fashion is what both of us are a little bit more than into.


•Dark shirt, dark tie, dark jacket: 52 percent don’t want to be so funereal. Jenni ‘unlikes’ this trend because she’s seen her fair share of unflattering choir outfits. In fact, whenever her friends wear something black and comment on it, she often adds in “Yes, like your soul.” Megan doesn’t hate it, because she has a secret affinity for dark clothing. It looks good on everyone, no matter their skin tone or eye or hair color. Black on black on black would be nice, but she’d like to see a man wear, say, a black shirt and with a dark grey tie and jacket.


So, these are the trends, this is how you responded, but the real question is this: does anyone actually dress like this at Longwood? We see plenty of fashionable fellas, but where are the plaid dress shirts, cool sweaters, and stylish jackets?
We hope this helps you next time you’re shopping for things to wear this season. And rest assured that from now on, we’re going to keep you guys in mind every week when we write for The Longwood Look.

Football Fashion

Hey everyone! Our first article was supposed to come out in The Rotunda yesterday, and it sort of did, it just wasn't in the actual newspaper. But, if you want to read the article and leave a comment on The Rotunda's website, please go here and do so:

http://media.www.therotundaonline.com/media/storage/paper1354/news/2009/09/09/Features/The-Longwood.Look-3766026.shtml

We celebrated Megan's 21st birthday this past weekend by tailgating at the first Hampden-Sydney football game of the season. HSC games are really fun, but very different from, say, any other college football game you'd ever go to. The Hampden-Sydney boys get all dressed up, from khakis and a polo shirt to seersucker pants and a preppy blazer. Girls show up decked out in sundresses and pearls, and sometimes even big sunhats.


How do you feel about this southern tradition? Some people feel that it's too much, but a lot of Longwood University girls (Megan included) can't seem to get enough of it. Is a football game any place for a bowtie? Let us know.

Fashionably yours,
Megan and Jenni