Posted by Jenni
Sorry we haven't been around much lately; what with finishing our degrees, adopting kittens, and working to afford our thrifty finds, we haven't found time to post!
Here's just a fun read from me to you about one of the inconveniences of clothing. I'm off to vintage shop (http://www.rockitagain.com/) with Look contributor Jared Dawdy.
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Chick Pee
Have you ever used the restroom at an amusement park, museum, or concert? If so, you'll know what I mean when I say that the length of the line at the ladies' room is worse than customs when leaving Amsterdam. Why?
Five Items of Clothing Which Make Peeing Almost Impossible
-A prom dress. Prom typically takes a long-ass time to happen somewhere Far Away from Your House. That means you are stuck with an embarrassing dilemma - risk tossing your tulle and skewing your demurely disguised underwear, or holding it. My sophomore year, prom was on a boat. I was really, really thirsty when I got home.
-Button-fly jeans. I'm not sure why they even make button-fly jeans, because in the heat of the moment, you risk yanking the buttons off, which is sure to bring you plenty of "XYZ, dude. X Y Z." This could work to your advantage if it's April Fools Day, but it probably won't be.
-Anything tardy. Leotards. One-pieces. Tutus. Anything in one piece that requires a locker room. The advantage of this is that everyone else has to do it too, so you're not naked all by your lonesome. It must be hard for Lady Gaga.
-An apartment owned by someone of the opposite sex. Especially when you're tryna holla.
-A romper/jumper with tights. I made this mistake only this past semester and as a result, I had to get completely naked in the English building to pee. I would not recommend this sober. Drunk, it's understandable. Sober, it's cold.
So the next time you're waiting in line at a restroom, try to open your heart to those poor women who decided to dress up like the Little Mermaid that day.
XOXO,
Jenni
Showing posts with label Resolutions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Resolutions. Show all posts
Monday, June 27, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
Without a Debt
Posted by Jenni
Yesterday I endured the torrents of rain in order to have a delicious Vietnamese lunch and then to go shopping. When I got home, I gathered my recent purchases and hauled them up to my room, where instead of hanging or folding, I simply stared in amazement.
I had bought this...
and this...
and these too!
In a matter of days, I managed to render my recent paycheck null and void. So I decided to follow through on my faith and abstain from clothes (and shoe) shopping for Lent. For Jesus, and for me.
How am I going to do this?
When God closes a door, I open a bucket of mango margaritas.
XOXO, Jenni
P.S. Black coat-dress, Vera Wang, Kohl's. Printed flower dress, Banana Republic Factory Outlet. Belt, Betsey Johnson, at Marshalls. Three graphic tees, all Banana Republic Factory Outlet.
Yesterday I endured the torrents of rain in order to have a delicious Vietnamese lunch and then to go shopping. When I got home, I gathered my recent purchases and hauled them up to my room, where instead of hanging or folding, I simply stared in amazement.
I had bought this...
and this...
and these too!
In a matter of days, I managed to render my recent paycheck null and void. So I decided to follow through on my faith and abstain from clothes (and shoe) shopping for Lent. For Jesus, and for me.
How am I going to do this?
When God closes a door, I open a bucket of mango margaritas.
XOXO, Jenni
P.S. Black coat-dress, Vera Wang, Kohl's. Printed flower dress, Banana Republic Factory Outlet. Belt, Betsey Johnson, at Marshalls. Three graphic tees, all Banana Republic Factory Outlet.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
The Seven Threadly Sins
Written by Megan Flynn and Jenni Schweitzer
It’s a new year! Did your new year’s resolution have to do with looking more amazing? In a very backwards effort to help you out, we’ve actually come up with the seven most villainous and wicked wardrobe malfunctions that you should never, ever be tempted to commit. Keep them out of your closet in 2010!
These are in no particular order. We loathe them all equally.
1.Muffin Tops: Let’s make something clear—girls can be beautiful with practically any body type. A muffin top, for those of you who don’t know, is when the waistband of your pants is slightly too small, and what doesn’t fit spills over, like the top of a muffin. It has much less to do with weight than the fit of the waistband on your pants. Megan can buy her jeans at Abercrombie Kids and still has had to figure out a way to battle the dreaded muffin top. Don’t be afraid to buy a size up. We won’t tell anyone.
2. Pajamas in Class: Why? Stop it. It’s not that hard to wear jeans or throw on a dress; actually, it takes the exact same amount of effort as putting on a pair of pajama pants. If you’re really a fan of the whole comfortable look, try some black yoga pants. Paired with a nice plain t-shirt, it’s an easy way to say ‘Namaste’ to academia with both comfort and style.
3. Skinny Jeans have an obvious implication. They’re the most closely tapered pants without being tights or body paint, and generally speaking, we approve of them. Both Jenni and Megan own skinny jeans and have discovered the real challenge – finding an equally skinny top. Again, skinny jeans have little to do with your body and more to do with the physical cut of the cloth. Your top should not be too voluminous, or instead of muffin top, you’ll be a muffin. Try to find them in a darker wash to maximize the skinny part of your jeans.
4. Ugg Boots: We can see why you'd want to toast your tootsies after all those heels we prescribe. Megan actually owns two pairs, but wears them cautiously. Just make sure you don't follow the Apple Bottom Jeans formula. Your boots don't need the fur to stay warm in the winter. Promise. And definitely no mini-skirts. What’s the point? You’ll get an article solely devoted to Uggs soon—Jenni and Megan argue about the rules of boots constantly.
5. Bag Ladies: Why are you carrying your purse and a backpack? Bookbags have little compartments specifically designed for things like cell phones, keys and chapstick. And yes, we know that everyone around here collects Vera Bradley bags like librarians collect cats, but you have to start narrowing it down to just one per day. That blue tote with the bright pink mini backpack—that’s practically a quilt. The ID holders are nice, though. We like them. And pen and sunglass cases, as well as the larger pieces made for traveling all serve a higher purpose. When it comes to Vera, we have to say that function needs to outweigh form. We hate to be the ones to have to tell you, but quilted purses aren’t actually that fashionable.
6. Camouflage is completely useless on campus. Trust us, you are not blending in, and that destroys the point. Go hunting, sure, and thank you for controlling the deer population. But seriously? We can still see you.
7. Confusion: Ever seen a girl and wondered, "Is she wearing pants?" McDonald's might allow it, but we won't. No matter how cute the two pieces you're wearing are—like a long top with a mini—they aren't balanced. Fit is almost everything when it comes to looking and feeling great in your clothes, and you want pieces that will work together in harmony. Wear longer tops with skinny jeans instead of a miniskirt or tuck them into high-waist, more reasonable-length skirt.
Well, there you have them. Resolve accordingly.
It’s a new year! Did your new year’s resolution have to do with looking more amazing? In a very backwards effort to help you out, we’ve actually come up with the seven most villainous and wicked wardrobe malfunctions that you should never, ever be tempted to commit. Keep them out of your closet in 2010!
These are in no particular order. We loathe them all equally.
1.Muffin Tops: Let’s make something clear—girls can be beautiful with practically any body type. A muffin top, for those of you who don’t know, is when the waistband of your pants is slightly too small, and what doesn’t fit spills over, like the top of a muffin. It has much less to do with weight than the fit of the waistband on your pants. Megan can buy her jeans at Abercrombie Kids and still has had to figure out a way to battle the dreaded muffin top. Don’t be afraid to buy a size up. We won’t tell anyone.
2. Pajamas in Class: Why? Stop it. It’s not that hard to wear jeans or throw on a dress; actually, it takes the exact same amount of effort as putting on a pair of pajama pants. If you’re really a fan of the whole comfortable look, try some black yoga pants. Paired with a nice plain t-shirt, it’s an easy way to say ‘Namaste’ to academia with both comfort and style.
3. Skinny Jeans have an obvious implication. They’re the most closely tapered pants without being tights or body paint, and generally speaking, we approve of them. Both Jenni and Megan own skinny jeans and have discovered the real challenge – finding an equally skinny top. Again, skinny jeans have little to do with your body and more to do with the physical cut of the cloth. Your top should not be too voluminous, or instead of muffin top, you’ll be a muffin. Try to find them in a darker wash to maximize the skinny part of your jeans.
4. Ugg Boots: We can see why you'd want to toast your tootsies after all those heels we prescribe. Megan actually owns two pairs, but wears them cautiously. Just make sure you don't follow the Apple Bottom Jeans formula. Your boots don't need the fur to stay warm in the winter. Promise. And definitely no mini-skirts. What’s the point? You’ll get an article solely devoted to Uggs soon—Jenni and Megan argue about the rules of boots constantly.
5. Bag Ladies: Why are you carrying your purse and a backpack? Bookbags have little compartments specifically designed for things like cell phones, keys and chapstick. And yes, we know that everyone around here collects Vera Bradley bags like librarians collect cats, but you have to start narrowing it down to just one per day. That blue tote with the bright pink mini backpack—that’s practically a quilt. The ID holders are nice, though. We like them. And pen and sunglass cases, as well as the larger pieces made for traveling all serve a higher purpose. When it comes to Vera, we have to say that function needs to outweigh form. We hate to be the ones to have to tell you, but quilted purses aren’t actually that fashionable.
6. Camouflage is completely useless on campus. Trust us, you are not blending in, and that destroys the point. Go hunting, sure, and thank you for controlling the deer population. But seriously? We can still see you.
7. Confusion: Ever seen a girl and wondered, "Is she wearing pants?" McDonald's might allow it, but we won't. No matter how cute the two pieces you're wearing are—like a long top with a mini—they aren't balanced. Fit is almost everything when it comes to looking and feeling great in your clothes, and you want pieces that will work together in harmony. Wear longer tops with skinny jeans instead of a miniskirt or tuck them into high-waist, more reasonable-length skirt.
Well, there you have them. Resolve accordingly.
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