It's finally spring, and you know what that means: dresses and puppies for everybody! Unfortunately, we've started noticing the Ides of March, which basically translate to too much skin. Many people are so eager to free their legs after the long confinement of wintry mixes that they're donning anything and everything short. We're attempting to identify and offer solutions to this problem before you make any rash decisions regarding your clothes.
1) Jorts. This ridiculous item of clothing, otherwise known as 'jean shorts,' is pretty unflattering for everybody. Denim is a heavier fabric, which is uncomfortably warm, and it typically lies very close to the body. We love jeans, make no mistake, but we love them because they make our legs into nice long lines. When you deliberately cut or rip your jeans into shorts, well, it's just not nice. Especially when the pockets peek out from the bottom.
- Solution: Look for shorts in different fabrics. We love wide-leg canvas shorts, for example, and they come in lots of fun spring colors. If you choose a bright short, pair it with a neutral top and maybe a fun blazer. You're so cute.
2) Minis. We don't care how awesome your legs look-most items of clothing that are too short are uncomplimentary and add unnecessary and imaginary pounds to your appearance. Mini skirts are supposedly "sexy," but what's sexy about walking around with a silhouette that's not even real and definitely unflattering? How short is too short, you ask. Call us prudes all you want, but we think that if you can't bend over without exposing yourself, you should probably find something that fits you a little better. We love dresses and skirts and yes, even shorts-but we like them better when they look good on you.
- Solution: Stay away from cutoff anything and stick with skirts, shorts and dresses that have lines other than just the one at the bottom. Keep it somewhere between just above your knees and mid-thigh, and you'll be amazed at just how socially acceptable you can really be.
3) Maxis. We're talking about long, summery, sometimes hippie/bohemian looking dresses. As terrible as it may sound, you have to be a certain type of person to pull these off. Okay, maybe you don't have to be a certain kind of person, but you need to look like a certain kind of person. Basically what we're saying is don't put a groovy, printed maxi dress on and head to D-Hall with a backpack and ribbon in your hair.
- Solution: Realize that these dresses, although beautiful, should only be worn in certain situations. We always think of the beach or a nice dinner, and jewelry and even hair style should be chosen carefully. No overworked updos! And stay away from pearls or sparkly jewels. Be easy, man.
4) Beachwear. Obviously, beachwear implies that there is a beach present.
Since that's not the case in Farmville, we don't really need to see you walking around Brock Commons in your bikini, holding a towel. We understand enjoying the nice weather, just make sure you slap on some sunscreen, wear stunna shades, and have some back-up clothes.
- Solution: Beach cover-ups. There are lots of ways to throw on a few articles of clothing and look fresh and ready for summer. Target, for example, currently has a large stock of light dresses in solid colors or fun prints, so just pull one on with a hat and some flip-flops. The most important cover-up, though, is definitely SPF. Make sure you opt for a waterproof formula and at least SPF 30. Tans look nice now, but youthful skin is better.
The Longwood Look is having a contest! Any spring faux-pas that we forgot to mention? Send them to us on Facebook or on our blog, http://longwoodlook.blogspot.com, and the first 15 people to respond will be awarded a booklet of spring deals and coupons, courtesy of Glamour magazine. GO!
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